So now I am 32. I feel completely different! Just kidding:) I do feel a little different though. 31 is not like 21, that’s for sure. 32 at least feels a little more solidly in the 30s. And I have finally broken the pattern of hazy birthdays drifting aimlessly by, half baked ideas forming momentarily and then fading back into the ether from whence they came, few real signposts to mark the passage of time. I said I’d be damned if I let another birthday go by drunk and alone, throwing a pity party so rowdy it should have been broken up by the cops. I’ve said a lot of things, but at this I have been successful. As for next year – one birthday at a time.
I found my old camera yesterday and looked through it. Road trip after road trip, punctuated by solo drinking/smoking sessions, apparently in an effort to keep myself company. The longer I’m sober, the more I get a sense of how long I wasn’t, and how valuable that time was. Everything I was seeking is right here, in the moment. All potential energy exists in the moment, and that potential is directly related to the machine’s capacity for creative action. I wasn’t capable of much in my ever-present stupor. I may not feel amazing all the time, but I am capable of much more than just lighting another cigarette. I feel, again, like I have woken up from a dream, except this time I am 32. I’ ok with that. I cant think of any good reason not to be.
I’m looking forward to heading up to the Northwest this coming week, playing out some of these new tunes I have here will feel good, and it’ll be great to be back on the trail. My US trip in Aug/Sept is also very exciting!!! I used to traverse the country a few times a year – something about crossing the landscape of my homeland is very awesome to me, even if at the end of the summer with all its humidity and bugs and sunburns.. Songs of the People is also rocking my world, such amazing stories! I definitely took on a huge batch to start out, and I’m going to need to put in some hours to get caught up. Although I can hardly classify this as work! I’m a lucky fella, getting to do this.
This year (like every year) I have many plans. Although this year, I have a far better shot at making some of them happen.
Thank you everyone for all the birthday love! It means a lot 🙂