My partner took these last nine days off work over a year ago to go to Hawaii, and failing to find the funds, we decided I would take her to some of my favorite national parks. Then the government shut down, so we decided to go for a back country romp in the southwest. We packed up my tried and true minivan, and with her gas card and my food stamps, off we went. As we rolled along through NV, UT, and AZ, hot spring hopping, BLM camping, and exploring ghost towns, a few of the parks started to open. We went through southern Utah all the way to Monument Valley, through the Navajo Rez, dipped down to the north rim of the Grand Canyon, played on some pink sand dunes, walked under some natural rock bridges, cooked by flashlight, peed outside, and communed with the big spaces for a week and a half. It was a much needed head clearing.
Somewhere in the Eastern Sierras with my first bit of cell service in days, I was asked to join a conversation about trans representation in the media for a segment on HuffPost Live. I was able to get a comment recorded and sent over from a Mc Donald’s parking lot (yay free wifi) in Bishop CA, and am truly blown away by how far things have come in such a short time, and truly honored to be a part of the movement that is bringing a much deeper understanding of what it means to be human – not just queer and trans. It’s an honor to count many of the folks in the conversation as contemporaries and friends. At a time when I am struggling to redefine myself post-addiction, where the hell I am going, and what is meaningful to me, the little boosts go a long way.
Then, when I got home and rejoined the world online, I found out that my fundraising goal has already broken the half way point!! As I scrolled through the names of supporters, some folks I have known for years, others a few degrees of separation away, some I haven’t met yet, I could only conclude that my music must be important enough to other people, no matter what my inner critic says. And I felt that a momentum exists that might be stronger than the forces that drag me down into drinking, depression, and darkness. And that in fact, I have the ability to further empower it, if I so choose. I felt a deep sense of gratitude to everyone who is chipping in, monetarily or energetically. And then my computer overheated and the rainbow pinwheel spun on a static page until I had to force a shut down. Not a moment too soon 🙂
A big huge THANK YOU for the kindness of all the folks who have donated already!! The music is happening and I can’t wait to start getting it down on.. hard drive. If you’d still like to throw in a donation, you are more than welcome to do so here.
Love to you all! More thoughts and pictures from the road coming soon.